I'll Miss You, Always
by Woody Woodstock
Summary: a 3 way songfic about loss. also a next generation fic.
1. Chapter 1

alright, so a few days ago i had this idea and now it's gotten to the point where... i need to this. so today, finally, i said to myself "fuck it! i'll shelf A Different Spin." which is my other story i've working on in case you didn't know. anyways this is sort of a 3-way song fic. it's all about loss. the songs were written by their singers about their parent enduring cancer and how they reacted to it. the songs are 3AM (Matchbox 20), Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own (U2), and Wake Me Up When September Ends (Green Day). all fantastic songs which i highly recomend. anyways, enjoy the story.

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><p>i walked up to the hospital room where my mother was in.<p>

_why on earth is this happening to _her_! _i thought to myself.

"hey baby." she said as she laid eyes on me.

"hey mom." i said back, trying to smile.

she was doing a better job than i was.

"so Hugo, how've things been with Rachel?" she asked.

"um, we broke up yesterday, mom." i said awkwardly.

"oh no, that's awfull. what happened." she said painfully.

"well we-" i stopped midsentence and asked, "why are you so interested in what's going on with me? you're the one in the hospital bed, why are you so interested in my life?"

"because i'm your mother, it's my job to put you before myself." she said smiling, "silly boy." she added as she messed with my hair.

we talked a few hours. i looked over at the clock, it was 3AM!

"oh my God, mom, i gotta go. i'm late for class!" i kissed her good-bye and asked her to get some sleep.

"i will, but you know you don't have to go." she said hugging me.

"well, i'll see ya later." i said ignoring the latter statement.

i walked off and got to class at a local muggle college.

i was studying to become a muggle fantasy writer, so i could document my parents lives together and such.


	2. Chapter 2

I walked into my dad's chamber.

"their you are." he said coldly.

"hey dad, how's it going." i said, leaning by his bedside.

he sighed, "the doctor told me what i have." he said fear echoing in his voice.

"what's up Dad?" i said with a calm concern.

"it's cancer. liver." he said, hiding his face from me.

"c'mon dad. you can beat this." i said optimistically.

"Didn't You Hear Me? I'm Going To Die!" he shouted.

"yeah, dad i heard you. but still, with muggle drugs wizard surgeries and human will. you could easily beat this." i said hopefully.

"Scorpius..." he began angered, his voice calmed and he said, "you and i are very much alike. if i were talking to my late father, Lucius," he sighed, "i'd have said the same thing."

i stood up and walked out, i paused at the doorway and turned slightly. "you know why we're so alike pop?" i said aloud.

"why?" said dad.

"we're the same soul." i said with a smile.


	3. Chapter 3

i walked with my brother over to my father's grave.

Harry J. Potter it read. July 31, 1980 - September 15, 2018.

the moment i laid eyes on it, i broke down and cried.

"hey don't worry Al, it's alright." said James.

"no, it's not!" i said heavily, "Dad's DEAD! we can't see him anymore."

"that doesn't mean he's gone little bro." said James as he put his hand on my shoulder,

"the hell it doesn't!" i said as i continued to break down.

"it'll be okay buddy." he said trying to comfort me.

"someday it will," i said drying my eyes, "but it's not now. and it's gonna be a for a long time."


	4. Chapter 4

i walked up to the hospital. Mom's chemo was working brilliantly.

i walked in with the roses in hand. they were her favourite flowers, after all that's why she named my older sister Rose.

"hey mom, how's everything going." i said optimistically.

"pretty good, i've puking round the clock and bones have occasionally been feeling they're made of mapom. other than that though, day at the beach." she said sarcastically but with a nice smile.

"that's great mom. so did they say the chemo's working." i asked.

"last they checked." she said with a smile. however her eyes told me, she wasn't buying it at all.

"oh come on, mom. smile a little brighter, your not gonna die after all." i said.

_she's got a little bit of something, _i thought, _and God it's better than nothing._

"you know Hugo, i've made my peace with it actually." she said.

"no, no, don't talk like that. your gonna beat this." i said.

"maybe. i might beat it, but still if i have to leave this place. i won't complain i've lived up my life to it's fullest. i can honestly not wait to see my old friends again if i don't beat this." she said nostalgic.

"your gonna beat this mom, don't let those thoughts get to you." i said as i got up to leave.

_3AM again, better get to class._ i thought.


	5. Chapter 5

i'm thinking of making this just a nice little short story. just one of those stories where it makes you smile and cry at the same time. well cry more with Albus's story. but you get the point.

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><p>i walked with my Dad to the hospital with dad the next. oddly enough Hermione Granger was being treated their as well. but anyways, when we got the test results the doctors said my dad had a 55% chance of survival without chemo, and an 85% chance with it.<p>

"that's great." i said to the doctor, "did ya hear him Dad, we can beat this."

"we? no, it's just me and my problem." he said to me, he looked up at the doctor, stood and said, "i apreciate you telling us that sir, but i have no intention of undergoing chemo."

"but you'll most likely survive with it." said the doctor.

"my mind is made up, i won't do chemo. thank you once again doctor." said my Father.

the doctor walked out confused. Dad put his suit back on walked out.

i followed him and tried to get his attention, when i eventually did i confronted him.

"Dad, why did you refuse treatment?" i exclaimed in anger.

"because, i don't want it." he said bluntly.

"well fine, but another thing. why did you say it was just you and your disease?" i asked him still angry.

"because, if i make it. i make it on my own." he said brushing past me.

as i watched him go i couldn't help but think to myself, _sometimes you _can't _make it on your own..._


	6. Chapter 6

it was the month of september, and ever since then i hated that month.

it was the month my father died, it was the month my whole world came crashing down.

my dad sparked wish to be a musician, he was my hero... my best friend even.

whenever i was sad, lonely, angry or anything. he always knew what to say and how to say it.

now he's gone and i can't see anymore.

whenever i'm hurt, angry, or anything, i can't ask him for advice anymore.

that memory was still fresh in my mind: that day. the day i lost my father.

i was 13. i was barely into my third year at hogwarts. my second favourite place in the whole world. next to home, where i got to hang out with my dad, hear my mom talk about Quidditch, and listen to my brother talk about how "macho" he was. it was a good life. and plus my adorable little sister Lilly was about the sweetest gal you could imagine.

and then i was pulled out of Transfiguration with my brother and sister by Proffesor Longbottom.

"hey kids." he said.

"hey Proffesor." we said with our nervous smiles.

"if this is about the cherry bomb i put in Moaning Myrtles toliet, these kids had nothing to do with it." pleaded James.

"i wish it was about that kid." said , "but i'm afriad it's much, much worse than that."

"what is it?" i asked.

looked away for a moment.

"your father's been killed in action, son." said sincerely, "i'm very sorry."

James screamed in anger. Lilly burried her face in her hands crying. i just stood their horror struck.

"no, no, no..." i said. tears ran down my face.

"i'm sorry son, it'll all be okay." he said hugging me.

i pushed him away and screamed "no, no your LYING!"

"Albus, calm down." said .

i dropped to my knees. "no, no, he can't be gone. he can't be!" i said as i pounded at the floor.

i laid down and sobbed. i was destroyed, i couldn't be whole again.


	7. Chapter 7

after 3 months of his struggle with cancer, i confronted my father.

"tough. you think you've got the stuff? you're telling me and anyone else you're hard enough. you think you can make it on your on own. but that' just it Sometimes You _Can't_ Make It On Your _Own. _let me take some of the punches for you tonight. listen to me now!" i said.

father stood up and said "alright Scorpius, i'll listen to you... this time."

"we fight all the time, and that's alright. you and i are the same." i said, "you don't have to put up a fight dad. you don't have to always be right."

"alright son, i've given you your 15 minutes. i have to go to work." said father as he put on his jacket and grabbed his cane.

"Dad, i need to let you know something!" i shouted before he left.

"what is it son." he said reluctantly.

"you don't have to go it alone." i said sincerely, "i can help you if you let me."

"what do you want son." said father as he turned to me.

"your the reason i sing, your the reason i have my guitar." i said.

ya see, i'd had interest in music most of my life. and father would spent late nights with my mother when was alive playing music.

he'd play cello while she played piano.

they enjoyed it so much, it was such an intamacy to them.

when i learned guitar they brought me in on it. it then became just as intimate.

when mother passed away because of cancer too, he and i became distant. i still played my guitar, but father rarely took his bow.

"there is no other reason why i play." i finished.

father sighed and said, "son, i know what your saying. and i love you, but the thing is i'm done."

"what do you mean?" i asked him concerned.

"i went to the doctor today, he told me it was too late for chemotherapy now. i'm going to die." i said.

"what?" i shouted.

"come along son. grab you guitar and call Juliette, we're going to play again." he said with a smile, opening his palm for me to come with him.

i took his hand and walked out to the common room.


	8. Chapter 8

i went to the hospital after all that a few days later.

"hey mom, how's it going." i asked.

"hey Hugo." she said smiling, "i'm alright."

"so how'd the chemo go?" i said with a smile.

she sighed, "i was afraid you'd say that." she said honestly.

"what's going on?" i asked concerned.

"Hugo, you may wanna sit down. this is gonna be pretty." she said heartfully.

"okay." i said my concern growing.

"the doctors told me it didn't work. i've only got 3 months left for living. so i'm checking out." she said calmly.

"you're, right, we'll go to 's why'd we think a muggle hospital would work." i said as i gathered all her things.

"Hugo stop." said mom as she got out of bed. she looked very weak, which discomforted me.

she took my hands in hers and said, "Hugo, life is made up of all these things. love, laughter, pain sadness. it's made up of all that we're used to, and the clock on the wall's been stuck at 3 for days."

"but-" i started.

she shushed me and said "you know how i love rainy days?" she said.

"yes." i said painfully.

she put her hand on my face and said, "the rain's gonna wash away all the pain, i believe this. Hapiness is a matt that sits on your doorway, all you need to do is rub your feet and you'll be fine."

and just like that it started raining.

"baby, the rain's gonna wash away... i believe this." she said with a bright smile.

i was hanging my head in sadness, she kissed my forehead and stroked my hair.

"now could i have raised such a mess?" she said jokingly.

i raised my heard on saw her beautiful smile.

"i love you mom." i said to her.

"i love you too, Hugo." she said as she hugged me.

(A/N: ya know i'd hate to get mushy on ya'll here, but i'd like to dedicate this chapter to my own mom. and in case your wondering, she is still very much alive.)


	9. Chapter 9

so i called my girlfriend, Julliete, and told her to bring her Violin.

we picked her up, and we drove to some random spot in the middle of London.

"father?" i asked.

"yes, son?" he awnsered.

"Sir Malfoy, why exactly are we here?" asked Julliete.

"like i told Scorpius, we're going to play." he said as he pulled out his Cello.

"just follow my lead." he added as he plucked the strings on his Cello.

he sighed with ectasy, like he was getting reaquainted with an old lover or forging a new relationship with an old flame. either way, he missed that Cello

he strung the strings with the bow and hummed.

i took out my acoustic guitar and strummed along with him, soon enough Julliette joined in.

i didn't know why dad wanted to do this after so many years, but i was and am glad he did.

i randomly began singing an old Metallica song called Nothing Else Matters. it sounded a little something like this, .com/watch?v=rbTozgoj9OQ.

after several hours of playing later. we bid Julliete farewell. i kissed her good-bye, cause man, was i crazy about her. still am.

we drove home. during which father comented to me "she's a keeper."

"she is." i replied.

father and i celebrated life's beauty with a long night of drinking and talking about life, love and other things. it was grand day.

eventually i went to bed and slept well.

i awoke the next to find father asleep on the couch. he was wrapped up in a blanket like he was dead.

i felt his skin. it was cold. i felt his pulse. their was none.

"Don't leave me alone." i pleaded.

i looked at the end table by the couch. their was a note folded up like a napkin on one of the coasters.

i read it out loud.

_Dear Scorpius,_

_If you're reading this, then must mean i'm no longer with you. If so, i'm very sorry. If not, well i'm sorry for giving you a scare. But in which case i am, i want you to know something: no matter what life throws at you, always remember; it's beautiful. Life is beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I spent most of my youth feuled by hate, i look back on that and think "I was feuled by ignorance and hate." I went through life without ever truly forgiving my enemies and such, and i deeply regret that. So do yourself a favor, keep on the track your on. Love and Music, are two of the most wonderfull things you can dedicate your life to. Keep that girl in your life too, she's a good influence on you. She reminds of your mother too. Haha, and finally; yesterday you told me i'm the reason you sing and that you play your guitar. I want to let you know that yesterday you were the reason i sang and i played my cello. I love you son. And i can't wait to see you in Heaven. But don't cry for me, i'm finally reunited with my greatest love. Good-Bye son._

_Sincerly, your loving father, Draco Malfoy._

I put the letter down, smiled and said, "i'll miss you too old man, bye."

so now it's him when i look in the mirror, and it's when i don't pick up the phone. cause i look and sound something like him. i'm not complaining though, i inherited his good looks and it's good to hear him everyonce in a while.

(A/N: again getting mushy, cause i'd like to dedicate this chapter to my own old man, who is also very much alive.)


	10. Chapter 10

the reason i write this story now, is because i've finally made my peace with my dad being gone.

i was working late at a diner a month ago. when my mother, Ginny, came by.

"hey mom, what can i get you?" i asked her taking out my pen and paper out.

"nothing Albus, sit down. i want to talk to you." she said firmly.

i did as i was told.

mom always was a force of nature.

"you constantly beat yourself up about something you had no control over. you're smart enough to learn to become a teacher at Hogwarts, maybe even Headmaster one day. but instead your wasting your life in this place. why?" she told me.

i didn't have an awnser.

"ever since your father died you haven't had that some love for life anymore like you did before. i want to let you know strait up, your father did not leave this earth wanting you to be unhappy. think about when you get home." she said.

she grabbed her purse and walked out.

before i finished my ship i noticed a young woman sitting in a booth listening to a Green Day song and waiting for her order.

"can i help you?" i asked her politely.

"oh no thanks, i'm just waiting for my brother to get here. we come here every year on this date and have a couple shakes, while we listen to Green Day songs." she explained with a happy smile.

"why?" i asked her.

"Well you see my daddy passed when i was 7 and my brother was 18. and he would always take me and him out here for milkshakes. it's our little way of... paying tribute to him and remembering all the wonderfull times we spent with him." she said that beautiful smile still on her face.

i couldn't help think to myself for a moment, _ya know i've never had a girlfriend. and she seems like she'd understand what i've been through. _and then i asked her "does that have anything to do with listening to Green Day?"

"yes, my father, brother and I, always loved Green Day. so i always play it while we wait." she explained.

i stood there and thought to myself, _how can i be so pathetic? she lost her dad when she was 6 years younger than when i lost mine, and i'm still whining and moaping about all the crap in my life? _i looked up and thought, _alright i get the point, God. thanks._

"ya know what thank you, you've really made me think about things." i said taking off my apron.

"hey Al." said my boss, "ya can't take that off yet, it's still your shift."

"sorry Joe, it's not. i'm quitting." i explained, "thanks for the job, and the support. but i don't need this anymore."

"huhn? i'm glad kid, your too smart for this crap." he said with a smile.

"thanks Joe." i said to my now _former _boss, i turned to the girl and said "you wanna go out sometime?"

"i'd love to." she said enthusiastically.

"you were a Ravenclaw weren't you?" i asked slyly.

"yep, i was." she replied quickly.

"awesome, i was a Hufflepuff." i said still sly.

"what in the world is that?" she said sarcastically.

"good one. i'll see ya later, enjoy your shakes." i said as i walked out to my car.

i drove to the cemetary where my dad was burried.

i stood my knees at my dad's grave and said "thanks old man. i owe ya one."

"your darn right ya do." said a voice.

i didn't know who it was, but i knew i'd finally gotten past everything. i'd finally woken up when september ended.


End file.
